Clean

This word NEVER last last long as I would like it to! My house is a DISASTER! The girls room has its own "dump" area. The guest/craft room/office looks like... crap. The front room is littered with E's toys and snacks, the kids bathroom isn't finished... and that bugs me because its something I cant do myself, I have to wait for help of my hubby. The kitchen is a mess... I don't think the girls understand the idea of cleaning the kitchen. Ok.. I think that is all of my gripes on the word clean.

So here are some ups for today...
E and I were able to plant some bell peppers and flowers in our indoor greenhouse. I was also able to plant some squashes, and cucumbers. I did clean out the garage, and got most of the Christmas stuff put up. Its not clean.. nor does it feel that way to me. Its an organized mess is what it is. The bottles that I ended up storing from my Dads collection, dang near takes up half a bay. I'm not sure how to get rid of them, and I don't think my two brothers care to have their share. lol. *sigh* ok that was a step back wasn't it.....

Anyhow, while I am doing, its not enough to make me feel satisfied, and I don't know how to achieve that feeling of complete. I'm sure it is a reflection of how I feel inside at the moment... I feel good, and then it hits and I feel mixed up... I have to say though, I haven't had ANY medication since Dec. 24th of 2010. Its been a struggle, but I have gotten help from a dear friend of mine from when we were kids. Its been good! I have been able to think through my feelings and figure out why things made me react or feel a certain way, and then move forward from there. I feel that I have become a more relaxed person, more of the time! WOOHOO! So I guess I better go think why I am feeling dissatisfied/unorganized. That way I can come up with a solution and feel better!

Have a nice day and smile all the way!
M