Final Goodbye

Tuesday came and went. It was a beautiful day. The service was very touching and it was great to hear of my moms past. There was a lot of love to go round. She sure did have the ability to touch everyone she came in contact with.

I can only imagine how happy she was to see all of us sprinkling glitter and sparkly things on her. She sure went out with some flair!

Thank you to my friends who have been by my side through this short but painful event. I would name you all, but in my mind frame I just know I would forget someone... and that I do not want to happen...so thank you!

Thank you to everyone who sent cards, brought dinners, gave calls and made sure my family was well taken care of when I could not be there for them!

Thank you to everyone who came to the viewings and the funeral. I felt so good knowing just how much you all really cared about me. Most of you only briefly met my mom, and some of you have know her for years and others never got the chance to know her at all ... but either way I was eternally grateful for you love and support.

I know I will be leaning on you throughout the years to come... so thank you for whats to come.

Love you all!

My Dearest Mother,

Yesterday my Mother of my 34 year life passed away onto greater things. She was an amazing woman, and would do just about ANYTHING that she could for you. She always had a smile on her face and would always tell you to "have a nice day and smile all the way!"

There is the one thing that I am grateful for that was given to me by my mother, the ability to love without judgment. She would always tell me that Hate is such a strong word to use... she would always tell me to say really don't like instead, and even at that i should look for the good and try to move on with out it sticking to me. At times I didn't listen to her, and would say that I hated this or that, but I always knew that I should say really don't like because it wasn't as harsh, and I knew that my mother was right, you let hate grab a hold of you, it can pull you down where you don't want to be.

It was so surreal to see all of this happen within this short amount of time. Just right around Christmas she was doing her thing, being so happy and optimistic...life could never bring her down, or at least she wouldn't let you see it happening to her. She was a strong lady in her earthly body, I can only imagine how strong of a spirit she is in heaven.

At the moment I am trying to be strong...I know it will all come crashing down around me sooner then later. I have had my moments...but even during those moments I think to myself , mom wouldn't want me to be sad, mom would want me to look at the bright side of things and to be happy soon...real soon. So I opened my windows to let the light shine in, in hope that it would give me warmth...I am grateful to have my own family, my Dad, my brothers and their family's, as well as SO many friends and acquaintances that are there to love and support not only myself but my family.

I'm going to miss her so very dearly...it saddens me to think of all the "not going to happens" because she is not physically here. Thinking of the past helps, and sometimes makes me smile with joy, but it also makes my heart lonely. I guess it will all work itself out, and I will be ok from it all...but It sucks (sorry mom..but it does)

Mom... I just want you to know just how very much I Love You, and how very much I will MISS you! You are my shinning star..I will always look up into the heavens and ask for you to be by my side and in my heart, because I cannot do this alone without you. Please hold me on those days when I feel the world is collapsing around me, or when I cant take anymore from the kids... Please guide me through the rest of my life. I need you Mom...I still need you. I really don't want to be stronger because your gone...but I guess i have no choice do I? So please be with in me Mom...please

I LOVE YOU!

goodnight mom, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite, see you in the morning..... I LOVE YOU! *kisses*

love you mom *tears* love you love you love you....

*SIGH*